Whether we Sanyasis or Householders or whoever, life is a continuous movement in relationships.
Every moment, we are relating with someone or something.
So Bhaja Govindam now asks each seeker to spiritualise his/her relationships. When we have a material view of people, our relationships are based on material factors like good looks, charming personality, loving temperament, bank-balance, etc. But all this is temporary. Neither the looks nor the love nor the personality nor the property remains the same. Everyone is constantly changing in that sense.
When our relationships are based on such flimsy factors, obviously we go through frustrations, disappointments and stress.
If we look around us, we can't find any relationship that is absolutely friction-free. Relationships should bring us happiness. But they end up draining us in several ways. We keep breaking out of relationships hoping we will be happier without certain people. We keep getting into relationships hoping that we will be happier with certain people. But relationships still remain the most difficult of all battles of life.
Bhaja Govindam snaps at us saying "Stop this hook-up and break-up!" What's the point calling someone friend, another foe, another family? What are all these relationships at the end of the day? Everyday people are constantly changing, and so is our relationship with them, our love for them, our attitude towards them. Till yesterday, he who was a best friend, is today a sworn enemy. Till yesterday, she who was a stranger, is today the love of my life. In this constantly changing field of relationships, how can i ever find changeless eternal happiness?
Hence we see that they who have none, are unhappy. And they who have many, are equally unhappy. At weddings we see sign ages saying "Happily Married Forever"!!! But how is that even possible unless one divorces from one's sense of difference and individuality.
All differences are based on the ephemeral. Relationships based on the ephemeral, can't ever be eternal. So, Bhaja Govindam indicates that base your relationships on the eternal - on That factor which can't ever change.
That's the secret. The dimple may become a wrinkle. The concern may become indifference. The charm may fade, the age may pass. But the Self remains. Don't love people because they are beautiful or kind or loving or intelligent or successful. They may not always be so. Love people because they are you! That never changes.
The Self in me is the Self in all. I love you not because of how you are, but because who you TRULY are. With this attitude, approach everyone as an extension of your very own Self. Then, no relationship will be strained.
I heard that some lady divorced her husband because he did not remember their Anniversary! She should have married a computer, not a man!!! Lol!! Memory is such a meaningless thing to base our relationship on.
Meher Baba says: I and you are not we. I and you are One.
That's the idea. When there is Oneness, there is acceptance. Every part of me is dear to me because it is me. Similarly each one is dear to me. I may have functional and behavioural differences. But no psychological difference. I know that functionally I will still wear the anklet on the ankle and the bracelet on the wrist. But, psychologically, it is only pure gold and thus all of them are valuable.
Point is that when we love people for the wrong reasons, relationships remain weak. Thus, Bhaja Govindam says that see each one as a reflection of you. When we look at a reflection and don't like what we see, we do not change the reflection. Instead, we change our look. Same way, Relationships are a mirror of our personality and each person is a reflection.
What takes effort is to know what needs to changed. Greatest tragedy is that we usually learn wrong lessons from our relationships. It needs a subtle mind, kindled carefully in innumerable Satsangs, trained meticulously through right living, tuned thoroughly through selfless action and tamed lovingly through devotion to the Lord.
When the mind thus learns to see each one as the Self and not as the matter vestures, there is complete acceptance, complete love, complete oneness. That is when relationships become "schools of enlightenment". Let each of us aim to make every relationship of our lives such Aashrams!!
Practice: Write 5 reasons why you like or dislike certain people of your life. And categorise each reason as physical or emotional or intellectual or social or spiritual.
Become aware of what your relationships are based on and realise that the problem lies precisely there.
TODAY'S REFLECTION IS BASED ON BHAJA GOVINDAM VERSE NO. 25.
Every moment, we are relating with someone or something.
So Bhaja Govindam now asks each seeker to spiritualise his/her relationships. When we have a material view of people, our relationships are based on material factors like good looks, charming personality, loving temperament, bank-balance, etc. But all this is temporary. Neither the looks nor the love nor the personality nor the property remains the same. Everyone is constantly changing in that sense.
When our relationships are based on such flimsy factors, obviously we go through frustrations, disappointments and stress.
If we look around us, we can't find any relationship that is absolutely friction-free. Relationships should bring us happiness. But they end up draining us in several ways. We keep breaking out of relationships hoping we will be happier without certain people. We keep getting into relationships hoping that we will be happier with certain people. But relationships still remain the most difficult of all battles of life.
Bhaja Govindam snaps at us saying "Stop this hook-up and break-up!" What's the point calling someone friend, another foe, another family? What are all these relationships at the end of the day? Everyday people are constantly changing, and so is our relationship with them, our love for them, our attitude towards them. Till yesterday, he who was a best friend, is today a sworn enemy. Till yesterday, she who was a stranger, is today the love of my life. In this constantly changing field of relationships, how can i ever find changeless eternal happiness?
Hence we see that they who have none, are unhappy. And they who have many, are equally unhappy. At weddings we see sign ages saying "Happily Married Forever"!!! But how is that even possible unless one divorces from one's sense of difference and individuality.
All differences are based on the ephemeral. Relationships based on the ephemeral, can't ever be eternal. So, Bhaja Govindam indicates that base your relationships on the eternal - on That factor which can't ever change.
That's the secret. The dimple may become a wrinkle. The concern may become indifference. The charm may fade, the age may pass. But the Self remains. Don't love people because they are beautiful or kind or loving or intelligent or successful. They may not always be so. Love people because they are you! That never changes.
The Self in me is the Self in all. I love you not because of how you are, but because who you TRULY are. With this attitude, approach everyone as an extension of your very own Self. Then, no relationship will be strained.
I heard that some lady divorced her husband because he did not remember their Anniversary! She should have married a computer, not a man!!! Lol!! Memory is such a meaningless thing to base our relationship on.
Meher Baba says: I and you are not we. I and you are One.
That's the idea. When there is Oneness, there is acceptance. Every part of me is dear to me because it is me. Similarly each one is dear to me. I may have functional and behavioural differences. But no psychological difference. I know that functionally I will still wear the anklet on the ankle and the bracelet on the wrist. But, psychologically, it is only pure gold and thus all of them are valuable.
Point is that when we love people for the wrong reasons, relationships remain weak. Thus, Bhaja Govindam says that see each one as a reflection of you. When we look at a reflection and don't like what we see, we do not change the reflection. Instead, we change our look. Same way, Relationships are a mirror of our personality and each person is a reflection.
What takes effort is to know what needs to changed. Greatest tragedy is that we usually learn wrong lessons from our relationships. It needs a subtle mind, kindled carefully in innumerable Satsangs, trained meticulously through right living, tuned thoroughly through selfless action and tamed lovingly through devotion to the Lord.
When the mind thus learns to see each one as the Self and not as the matter vestures, there is complete acceptance, complete love, complete oneness. That is when relationships become "schools of enlightenment". Let each of us aim to make every relationship of our lives such Aashrams!!
Practice: Write 5 reasons why you like or dislike certain people of your life. And categorise each reason as physical or emotional or intellectual or social or spiritual.
Become aware of what your relationships are based on and realise that the problem lies precisely there.
TODAY'S REFLECTION IS BASED ON BHAJA GOVINDAM VERSE NO. 25.
